Some of the best advice I’ve ever received has been from my dad, but I didn’t quite realize that until I got older. My “all-knowing” father spits out life lessons every other sentence, so I usually respond with an eye roll.
But as I began to come across experiences in my life where his words were applicable, maybe this self-proclaimed Yoda is onto something after all, I thought. Ironically, I learned most about being a woman from him.
Here are few of my life lessons for you to internalize re: men and life, straight from the man himself.
1. No man will ever be able to fill your cup every day. It’s impossible and draining.
2. Most men will fill the cup in short terms to be able to conquer.
3. You must fill your own cup.
4. You must love yourself when you’re looking in the mirror.
5. Don’t ever allow a man to shape who you are.
6. Don’t ever lower your standards for a man. Be patient.
7. Women have the same feelings as men. If you want it, go get it, but do it under your terms. And, after . . . leave a note with $20 saying, “I’ll call you, don’t call me.”
8. Envision the perfect partner. And if you want to attract that partner into your life, be that person yourself.
9. I hear all the time and in the movies, “You complete me.” Throw that sh*t out the window.
10. Never allow a man to disrespect you or verbally abuse you, and, of course, don’t ever allow him to physically abuse you. That’s not a man.
11. Find a man who will adore you, who will treat you like a queen. A real man shows by actions and not words.
12. Always remember, what he says is who he’s trying to be. What he does is who he is.
13. In order to have a successful and prosperous relationship, you must be able to self-recognize.
14. Your partner must be able to do the same as above.
15. Don’t rush into a marriage or relationship because of loneliness or emptiness. Work on your weaknesses and complete yourself first.
16. A great man will overflow your cup and not just fill your cup.
17. Be confident and be happy being alone. Be content being alone. Be confident and be able to go to dinner, movies, and travel alone. Tell the world mentally and physically when sitting at the dinner table alone: “My name is x and I’m a strong, independent woman who is content and secure with herself.”
18. You’ll notice a f*ck boy coming your way when they’re intimidated by you. Again, don’t lower your standards for these little boys. Play with them if you wish, but do it under your terms.
19. Wait until you’re in your 30s to get married. Through my personal experiences, I’ve noticed that I started to feel comfortable looking into the mirror when I turned 30ish.
20. Always work on your relationship. Don’t think everything is fine if you’re not fighting or arguing. There’s always room for improvement.
21. Find a man who loves himself, also.
22. Find a partner who’s your best friend, someone you simply like hanging out with, go to the market with, etc.
23. It’s a plus to have the same interests and hobbies.
24. I asked a friend who married for the third time what was different about this one. His response: “For the first time in my life, I couldn’t wait to go home.” Sometimes, it’s that simple.
25. Find a partner who wants to grow and learn with you.
26. Always be self-sufficient emotionally and financially. Allow yourself to want it but never need it.